People are restless. The signs of restlessness are there all over the place. I get it. I'm a teacher. I've studied kids, watching for that turning away, loss of focus, that inability to hold on to what I was teaching in that moment. There's an art to keeping kids motivated and inspired enough to hold tight. I too have had a hard time holding on in times when I've felt that the control was not mine. In teaching, I always had to know what the measurement of my students' true capability could be.
I loved studying their patterns and their complexities, their abilities and inabilities.
I am, like them, very human. I have a hard time holding still. So, to ask me to sit, shelter and stay in place for any length of time, like this, seemed near impossible. What? No shopping, no restaurants? No yoga? In essence, no options? No, in and of itself is a bad word in my mind. Us humans like to control our own destiny. It's the American Way.
I am, like them, very human. I have a hard time holding still. So, to ask me to sit, shelter and stay in place for any length of time, like this, seemed near impossible. What? No shopping, no restaurants? No yoga? In essence, no options? No, in and of itself is a bad word in my mind. Us humans like to control our own destiny. It's the American Way.
My siblings always called me, "the brat." But I really didn't see myself that way. I was kind and tried to be somewhat giving. But if you asked for the last bite of my ice cream or the last bite of my Milky Way (only siblings, honest), I was not giving that to you. Even that didn't really get to me that much. I could stand my ground and defend myself after all.
But to be told NO? Well, that was a good reason to declare a Murphy-sized war! We, Irish, do not take no very well. We can be giving as the day is long, but underneath all that, we can be a stubborn and resentful lot. But these days, I see we are not the only ones. So, the lesson I've learned in this time of NO to just about everything I used to do...is the ZEN of just staying put, and enjoying the stillness in the NOW.
Worries about financial insecurity are rampant. I have my own concerns as well. For those of us who can, even if it means stretching our budget to its very end, making a donation to a local food bank is the way to go. Putting ourselves in the mind of those who have nothing...thinking about what it would be like if my cupboards really were bare and I had no option but to sit in my car on a long line and wait till I was provided for, that gives me pause. I am humbled by all of the people that wait. They are doing what's best for their kids and for themselves.
Gratitude is something to cultivate in this time of ZEN. Waking myself up to the beauty of nature has been the call I've been following. My dog is leading me there. I watch him sniffing around...I know, he's finding his spot! But he also sniffs the flowers just to sniff the flowers. I've never had a dog that did that before! He stops to watch that magnificent blue heron as if it's his own personal tv show!
And because of his alertness when it comes to things of nature, I am also more awake and watching for the little surprises that come my way. Last week, I stood at the pond's edge, just four feet away from a huge blue heron. To my surprise, he didn't flinch a bit. I moved closer and started to see what he was seeing--it was his little tv show. There, in front of me, sailing across the pond, were two geese and their four newborn goslings. And there, sailing toward them, but putting on the brakes and hanging out--were two big popped up eyeballs...seconds later, the full gator appeared. Small miracles, just for me.
I'm sure to many--my musings sound stupid, boring and unuseful in comforting their restlessness right now. But I think the Buddhists and the Spiritualists have it right. I say, pick up Jon Kabat Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are or a little Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart. Both their words are so human and works like these have fueled me and helped me in dealing with the things that are way out of my reach. Page by page, the wisdom unfolds.
It takes time to cultivate new habits, beliefs and experiences. Our time here is short. So, right now, in this moment, I'm asking myself--What is it that can fill me up, that all the running and shopping and doing used to do for me? A friend once told me that I am a human doing, wouldn't I rather be a human being? To just BE is my job today, like it or not, because being still will save a lot of grief for everybody else!
Gratitude is something to cultivate in this time of ZEN. Waking myself up to the beauty of nature has been the call I've been following. My dog is leading me there. I watch him sniffing around...I know, he's finding his spot! But he also sniffs the flowers just to sniff the flowers. I've never had a dog that did that before! He stops to watch that magnificent blue heron as if it's his own personal tv show!
And because of his alertness when it comes to things of nature, I am also more awake and watching for the little surprises that come my way. Last week, I stood at the pond's edge, just four feet away from a huge blue heron. To my surprise, he didn't flinch a bit. I moved closer and started to see what he was seeing--it was his little tv show. There, in front of me, sailing across the pond, were two geese and their four newborn goslings. And there, sailing toward them, but putting on the brakes and hanging out--were two big popped up eyeballs...seconds later, the full gator appeared. Small miracles, just for me.
I'm sure to many--my musings sound stupid, boring and unuseful in comforting their restlessness right now. But I think the Buddhists and the Spiritualists have it right. I say, pick up Jon Kabat Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are or a little Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart. Both their words are so human and works like these have fueled me and helped me in dealing with the things that are way out of my reach. Page by page, the wisdom unfolds.
It takes time to cultivate new habits, beliefs and experiences. Our time here is short. So, right now, in this moment, I'm asking myself--What is it that can fill me up, that all the running and shopping and doing used to do for me? A friend once told me that I am a human doing, wouldn't I rather be a human being? To just BE is my job today, like it or not, because being still will save a lot of grief for everybody else!
1 comment:
This narrative is interesting to me because I've been thinking about this myself. We ARE restless. We Americans don't like to be told what to do and what not to do. Witness masked gunmen demanding the right to....not wear masks! But then I sat down and finished The Dressmakers Gift-the latest of a long line of books I've been reading with a similar theme-and I realize what a spoiled, petulant bunch we are! So I'll take your advice. Get out there and enjoy nature. I find it very soothing. Hope all is well with you and Tom.
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