Thursday, September 23, 2010

Swimming Along with the Tide

Yesterday, I had an opportunity for a 'call back,' and it wasn't for stage or screen. I'd gotten a call for a recheck from my doctor, and I was invited to c'mon back in.

Well, I don't have to tell anyone how nerve-racking something like that can be. I let myself get into a little bit of a state, but then as always, I remembered to fall back on my faith. I had more than a few responsibilities in front of me, so I tried to put it out of my mind. I'm a drama queen first and foremost though, so I order to get out of that trap, reaching out to someone else is always my only safety net in this world.

I went over to the hospital, signed in at radiology and took my seat in the waiting room. I couldn't help notice the two women sitting alongside me there. Both of them were a bit jaundiced looking and both had lost their hair. I saw them, and they saw me too...both smiled but then both turned their eyes away. I have to admit, it scared me, seeing them both sitting there. But then, my name was called and I made my way down a very long, very white corridor and sat again and waited. House Wives of Orange County was playing up on the screen. It felt surreal, honestly. Like all this was a part of a dream.

I went to the first technologist, and she assured me she saw nothing, but the doctor would just have to check. She then came back for a few more, and that made me even more nervous. She said she'd be right back...but it wasn't her that returned. The next tech that came in was from ultra-sound...I laughed at that point, and I really don't know why. I told her I didn't really want to graduate, I only wanted to go home.

But it was in that time, after she finished with me, and before the doctor came in...that a certain peace came over me, and the words...'it is what is,' started swimming around in my brain. I thought about all the women before mom, my grandmother, my sister, my mother-in-law, and the countless others too. All these women throughout the ages and we haven't beat this still. But mostly I thought about my family.

The doctor came in then, and she said she wanted a first-hand look. She told me not to try to read her face and not to worry she'd tell me the truth right there. I was very, very fortunate, what I had was a cancer scare. She showed me the spot in question and told me it was really nothing to worry about at all.

Yesterday, I learned the real lesson of really is what it is, and no amount of fighting can ever change that at all. I have no power over it, but I sure can treat it like it's my most important treasure. So...yesterday, life's lesson led me right to the Icecream Shop! Life is good! Icecream, babies, laughter...choose your pleasure and live it up to the hilt!